Love

I'm in Love. Not kind-of-I-think-this-might-be-the-one love, but Love. The I've-Always-Been-His-Wife-We-Were-Made-To-Fit-Like-This Love. I can't see myself anywhere else, with anyone else. It's amazing. Despite all my failed attempts to push him away with my meddlesome emotions and plaguing problems and heavy ass baggage, I'm in Love and he's still here.

The trial of suffering come from the passage of time in Depression has finally passed and here on the otherside, is him. The answer was so simple. So clear. Just let go and fall. And since I've been falling, I've been seeing all sorts of things amazing.

Life is simply this moment, this opportunity every morning to wake up an doing something different. To not just let people pass through our lives like ghosts ships, haunting regrets left dangling in the shadows of our past. But to embrace every chance, everything!

I woke up today and decided I wanted to be happy. Despite everything that will come, I want to be happy, and I don't want to look back and see everything I missed out on. I want to say I did everything I could.


An Old Woman
Let me die an old hag in my bed.
Fingers aching and cracked and creased.
Back crooked and feet callussed.

I'll die with my eyes open.
Sunlight scorching the hallows of my leathered cheeks.
Catching the twinkle in my gums.

I'll look directly into the sun,
and tell my children what I saw in there.

Let my brow be heavy with sweat,
from running by the river
or from a heated afternoon of lovemaking
in the bathroom
or from the churning,
done in rememberance of some ancestor or another.

I want to be exhausted.
Catching my breath, for just a moment
Before letting it slip away in the faint chuckles
of one last good laugh.

Let my house be teeming with people
from all over the world
their hurried stories of wild treasure chases
and lost loves
and war
echoing into the rafters of my creaking home
built with my hands
and following me to the place beyond this one.

Let me die in his arms
Feeling his lips cowering above mine
grazing the corners of my mouth
pressing, earnestly against my hot breath.

His fingers resting atop my haulted breast.
Staring with me into the oncoming Change,
whispering my name once more
as I exit out the door
and take his voice to the Heavens.

Faylita H.