So, my Great Aunt passed this week. I am just getting back to Ray's after spending the afternoon, crying, laughing, dancing, making love, meeting family, and spittin' some poetry. It is a wonderous feeling, this completeness that surronds me. I have been wary for awhile, ignoring the gut and going for the safe and small. Well now, I'm tired of waiting. I met Gnarls Barkeley yesterday during a program with the Grammy Academy, and what they said and what my cousin from Virginia said are echoing loudly in my mind.
Gnarls Barkeley: "Work for yourself. Nobody's going to give you a free hand out, and most of the time, they will only support you if they know you're going to do this on your own, one way or another. Be unique and be persistent!"
Marian: "Stop ignoring that voice and do it! You've got something to offer and we're proud of you!"
I'm ready, big ol' universe, for something fantastic to occur in my life!
I'm ready for success!
I'm ready to listen and grow and change and become all that it is I was meant to become!
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The Experience Tour 2008 featuring Spoken Word Artists Michelle Desiree, Faylita Hicks, Stacie Shea, and Selah Vie, will be kicking off December of 2008!
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It is my personal opinion that this is the perfect moment to do something different. Such as listen to my gut and walk the path so perfectly laid before me. This is my passion. This is my calling. To spit is not just a gourging of emotions, it is a way in which to bring a community together and tell the stories that inspire us to continue from day to day. This is God speaking through me and to me and about me. Excuses are over rated and faith unconfided in.
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A Poet's Tribe Productions will be celebrating the New Year with a Premiere Production! Expect to get the experience of a lifetime!
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These are my dreams here, in my hands. The lines faded and knuckles cracked and bleeding.
These are my stories and my hopes and my desires, leaking like rivers into canyons crossed. These are my wings, muscles tightened and pumping and ready to stretch and dip and dive into something incredible.
These are mine. This here, this moment, is mine.
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The most incredible gifts you can give a lost soul, is an ear and a pen and a pad. Give them the choice to speak on it. -Workshops on Writing, Stage Presence, Inspiration now available.
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Did I say I was hittin' the dusty trail? Pickin up my sense of self and letting her take the wheel? Did I mention I was just on MLK, soaking up the highbeams of some SUV, when it occured to me... the light was green. How long had I been waiting for that?
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Musings
The secret to life is... keep breathing. I think.
This has been a lovely weekend of writing and reflection and observation. I've got some great beginnings for new poems, some great edits and feedback and look forward to having them all nicely cut up and prepared for their debuts.
I'm reading this incredibly inspiring book by Jane Hirschfield for my poetry class, and it's definitely help me to keep an open mind. I find myself more and more preferring my own company or that of a book. Gives me enough time to really jump into concentration and discover exactly what poems and thoughts and images and statements are laying wait in my fingers.
*******************************************************************
My voice is currently very gone, due to Friday Night Lights and being sick and all of that fun jazz... Have to spend the week recuperating and working on ways to make it till pay day.
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Wondering what I should do for 1) my 23rd birthday on Halloween... needs to be awesome!
2) Election Day- I want to be somewhere, with some peeps, digesting numbers on CNN and sipping something
3) The Heroes Premiere: yes, I am an avid Heroes fan, and I freakin love comics... I love nerds... really.
4) For dinner tonight. I'm like really hungry. Have literally sat here since 11 am, writing and editing all of poetry and now it's like 7pm. Right, so I'm gonna go get a life, a snack, and do some homework.
Peace and Nuts and Berries!!!!!
This has been a lovely weekend of writing and reflection and observation. I've got some great beginnings for new poems, some great edits and feedback and look forward to having them all nicely cut up and prepared for their debuts.
I'm reading this incredibly inspiring book by Jane Hirschfield for my poetry class, and it's definitely help me to keep an open mind. I find myself more and more preferring my own company or that of a book. Gives me enough time to really jump into concentration and discover exactly what poems and thoughts and images and statements are laying wait in my fingers.
*******************************************************************
My voice is currently very gone, due to Friday Night Lights and being sick and all of that fun jazz... Have to spend the week recuperating and working on ways to make it till pay day.
*******************************************************************
Wondering what I should do for 1) my 23rd birthday on Halloween... needs to be awesome!
2) Election Day- I want to be somewhere, with some peeps, digesting numbers on CNN and sipping something
3) The Heroes Premiere: yes, I am an avid Heroes fan, and I freakin love comics... I love nerds... really.
4) For dinner tonight. I'm like really hungry. Have literally sat here since 11 am, writing and editing all of poetry and now it's like 7pm. Right, so I'm gonna go get a life, a snack, and do some homework.
Peace and Nuts and Berries!!!!!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Run On's
There's something to be said for reflection. It has only been five years since I graduated from high school, yet it seems as if the entire world has changed completely. People with children, married, in another country, teaching, modeling, passed away. It's intensely wonderful to watch this journey. Even people in college, their lives have changed dramatically in the last few years. Why should I be surprised though, when my own life has taken as many turns as it has? Looking back, even if it's only to yesterday, keeps me up on perspective. Gives me a reason to appreciate wherever it is that I am.
*The safety of Ray and his friends after Hurricane Ike.
*My poetry class, in which I am learning that I am not alone in this struggle for better understanding.
*The patience of people who are willing to work with me as I struggle to 'survive' my bills.
* The way the last few days have felt against my skin, cool calm and romantic.
* Finally connecting on another level with him.
*The opportunity to make money doing something on my bucket list- work at a haunted house!
*Encouraging words and advice from my professor concerning my poetry and Grad school.
*Seeing my younger sister make mistakes and learn from them.
*The freedom and time to write this.
Family Is
Polaroids, crusted along the plastic edges.
Hues hinted at and fading into the broken lines of each other.
Voices whispering across the creased smiles of mother and children.
Hearing the last time we ate a dinner as a family, and laughed,
Whole.
Daddy at the head of the table, mommy at the tail, and children all in a row.
The last time we all sat at a table, I think.
I don't remember it.
I must've been very young.
Remember the last time we shared jokes or the last time we made fun of horror flicks or the last time we went on a field trip to the store for ice cream.
I don't remember it. The pictures say 1987, and 1994, and October 30, 1997.
It's some time after that now.
My mom likes to pretend we still should get together and have dinner around the table.
Her stand in is much better than the original, she promises.
"Call him papa!"
I call him Daniel.
Daddy sits us at the table and takes his plate to the counter. "Don't ruin the glass, use a place mat. You can't sit on the couch like that, it's leather. Don't pet the puppies, they bite."
He thinks he's real chill. "Real laid back", when honestly, he's just as guarded as a stranger with no idea how to play with kids. His treasures, cleaned daily, set perfectly in order, are never to be touched. His house, a museum of what might of been if hadn't been for my bitch of a mother.
My bitch of a mother, hates that sinner of a father. No good cow he is. And we'll end up just like him if we don't watch out.
Home for the holidays. Which way is that?
*****************************************************************************
Two years ago, I made up my mind to make a home. Called to me my sisters from their various corners of Texas and had a 3 foot tree with dollar store presents and chocolate and stockings. Rented movies and handed over the remote. It snowed slightly that time... I remember it was cold. And one sister isn't allowed back in my home ever again. And Christmas is a burden now I'd rather not have honestly. I never have enough cash, never have a home to visit, and always spend the New Years evening wishing I hadn't tried to go out, but just sat at the house, in front of the tv, alone.
One day, I want to be Big Mama, and I want people to come to me for the Holidays.
*The safety of Ray and his friends after Hurricane Ike.
*My poetry class, in which I am learning that I am not alone in this struggle for better understanding.
*The patience of people who are willing to work with me as I struggle to 'survive' my bills.
* The way the last few days have felt against my skin, cool calm and romantic.
* Finally connecting on another level with him.
*The opportunity to make money doing something on my bucket list- work at a haunted house!
*Encouraging words and advice from my professor concerning my poetry and Grad school.
*Seeing my younger sister make mistakes and learn from them.
*The freedom and time to write this.
Family Is
Polaroids, crusted along the plastic edges.
Hues hinted at and fading into the broken lines of each other.
Voices whispering across the creased smiles of mother and children.
Hearing the last time we ate a dinner as a family, and laughed,
Whole.
Daddy at the head of the table, mommy at the tail, and children all in a row.
The last time we all sat at a table, I think.
I don't remember it.
I must've been very young.
Remember the last time we shared jokes or the last time we made fun of horror flicks or the last time we went on a field trip to the store for ice cream.
I don't remember it. The pictures say 1987, and 1994, and October 30, 1997.
It's some time after that now.
My mom likes to pretend we still should get together and have dinner around the table.
Her stand in is much better than the original, she promises.
"Call him papa!"
I call him Daniel.
Daddy sits us at the table and takes his plate to the counter. "Don't ruin the glass, use a place mat. You can't sit on the couch like that, it's leather. Don't pet the puppies, they bite."
He thinks he's real chill. "Real laid back", when honestly, he's just as guarded as a stranger with no idea how to play with kids. His treasures, cleaned daily, set perfectly in order, are never to be touched. His house, a museum of what might of been if hadn't been for my bitch of a mother.
My bitch of a mother, hates that sinner of a father. No good cow he is. And we'll end up just like him if we don't watch out.
Home for the holidays. Which way is that?
*****************************************************************************
Two years ago, I made up my mind to make a home. Called to me my sisters from their various corners of Texas and had a 3 foot tree with dollar store presents and chocolate and stockings. Rented movies and handed over the remote. It snowed slightly that time... I remember it was cold. And one sister isn't allowed back in my home ever again. And Christmas is a burden now I'd rather not have honestly. I never have enough cash, never have a home to visit, and always spend the New Years evening wishing I hadn't tried to go out, but just sat at the house, in front of the tv, alone.
One day, I want to be Big Mama, and I want people to come to me for the Holidays.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Grateful List Septemeber 10, 2008
Things I am grateful for this morning:
*True love, in it's endearing form, finding its way to me at last
*The encouragment of wise individuals whose words linger always
* My new pet crabs: Marcus and Billy Bob, something about pets that connect
*The helpfullness of my professors, providing great valuable feedback on my work
*My Ford Focus: that little trucker just keeps going on without a shame in the world
*My new skateboard and pen from Ray: he reminds me to stay young for as long as I can
*My new Weight Watcher's group, keeping me focused on my goals for myself and my body
* Real friends: they are so hard to find, and such a blessing once their found
Alot I want to write about now, but class waits for me on campus and I still need to morph into a student.
Adios
*True love, in it's endearing form, finding its way to me at last
*The encouragment of wise individuals whose words linger always
* My new pet crabs: Marcus and Billy Bob, something about pets that connect
*The helpfullness of my professors, providing great valuable feedback on my work
*My Ford Focus: that little trucker just keeps going on without a shame in the world
*My new skateboard and pen from Ray: he reminds me to stay young for as long as I can
*My new Weight Watcher's group, keeping me focused on my goals for myself and my body
* Real friends: they are so hard to find, and such a blessing once their found
Alot I want to write about now, but class waits for me on campus and I still need to morph into a student.
Adios
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